So I thought Nepal was kind of different than other countries I have visited. In the past, lets say in Egypt for example, when someone from the opposite sex asked me if I was single or married, without hesitation I would answer married. It just always made situations easier, more simple and in Egypt you just do not want them to tell you how much camles you are worth. But something about the easygoingness of Nepali’s, the fact that there is hardly any crime and that it is a traditional society made me answer the question differently, especially when it came from my Amaa samoaa (Mother group).
During the first meeting of the Amma samoaa, during the initial introduction they offered to find me a Thami guy from the village (Thami is the local ethnic group). At first I would say “Hoina, Israel manche matrai” ( no, I only want to marry an Israeli man). But my answer did not suffice and the question arose at almost every single Amaa samoaa. So I started making a joke of it and told them that if they found me a tall Thami man ( which is actually impossible, most men here reach my shoulders, especalliy Thami’s) then I would marry him. Needless to say this always caused them to laugh hysterically.
I kept on receiving the question “Nepali biaa garne?” (Do you want to do a Nepali wedding?) many more times during my stay at the village, usually on the roof of some bus while making small talk with the man sitting next to me/ on top of me/ on top of a goat.
So a few weeks ago I was on the way up to Kalinchock mountain, the mountain above the village when I stopped with Mordechai for a cup fo tea at a local pasal (shop). There was a nicesh man there who we were talking to when again he asked me if I wanted a Nepali biaa (wedding). I gave him my funny Amma samoaa answer that if he found a tall Thami man I would do it. So he then stood up and said, I am a tall Thami man, would you like to marry me? Truth be told he was the tallest Thami men I ever saw, but he was also about 50+ years old….
So there I got caught.
But later on, while freezing my butt off on the top of Kalinchock (@ 3300 meters) sitting around the fire at the guest house the question came back to haunt me once again. Another fellow Nepali who was at the guest house would not stop asking me if I wanted “to do” a Nepali wedding. I kept answering him no (Hoina, Hoina Hoina!!) and he just kept asking. Possibly he had already gotten very drunk on Raxi, the local alcohol. He was pestering me so much that I told him that on Shabbat, my special Puja (ritual or prayer) is that I keep silent. ” Ma Sanibaar puja garne, na bolne”. I guess the fact that I then turned to Mordechai to ask him something gave me away….
Anyway readers, my recommendation is always tell men you are married and save yourselves the trouble of explaining, apologizing, feeling embarrassed and so on and so forth. It just makes life easier, also in Nepal 🙂